Alternative Meat Products

Bacon Mints

Mmmm, your breath smells like nitrates!

Bacon Toothpicks

Even that classy pig with the top hat uses bacon toothpicks.

Do I See Floaties?

Meat Pie Candy

At least they have an English translation on the front.

Bacon Bubbles With Complimentary Gun

A Failed Experiment From 2007

Squid Candy

Bacon Lip Balm

(photo: baconsalt.com)

Fish Candy

Hey, pal – Want an unmarked circular green candy? Me? Oh, no, I wouldn’t want to take the last one…

Chicken Gum

SPAM.

Uh, yeahhhh. Nasty.

Bacon Ice Cream

This tub of Ben & Jerry’s is actually a mock-up, but bacon ice cream is out there people!

Meatball Gum

This new product may replace sour balls in generation Z’s double-dog-dare-on-the-school-bus rituals.

Bacon Floss

Bad for your cholesterol, but great for gingivitis!

Bacon Vodka

It’s all the rage, kids.

Bacon Donut @ Dynamo

(photo: Kim Sunee)

Chicken Bubbles

Bacon Jelly Beans

Finally! A flavor you’ll be able to pawn those wretched buttered popcorn beans off for.

Chicken Dinner "Good Candy"

This one has to be a joke! (photo: allposters.com)

Chicken Donut

I can’t even imagine…

Meat Flavored Toothpaste

In all fairness, it’s for dogs. But can you imagine the prank potential?

Meat Water

My favorite flavors are beef stroganof, Hungarian gulash, and weiner schnitzel. You think I’m kidding? This product is marketed as a “high-efficiency survival water.” Check out the link for yourself!

Bacon Mayonnaise = Baconnaise

Very polarizing. Some people love it, some wanna puke. Also, if you are thinking mixing bacon and mayonnaise is a good idea, would you ever go with baconnaise light?

Meat iPod Cover

Because you wanted your iPod to be covered in meat. Right? RIGHT? That’s what I thought.