They're supposed to be "Hot" but I just don't get it!

Jessica Simpsons

She always just looked like He-Man to me.

Brooke Shields

She might actually beat out Jessica Simpson for the title of actress that looks the most like He-Man. The creepiest thing about shields is that she was at her hottest when she was about 14 and everybody knows it. They only continue to compliment her beauty due to the overwhelming guilt they feel about that perversion.

Hilary Duff

No, but in all honesty, I think that she’s going to do really well in her new role starring as that man in Twilight.

Madonna

Miss Ciconne never really was exceptionally attractive but she used that age old trick of diverting attention away from her face and towards her body. It worked for a long time but now I don’t know where to divert my eyes except for away.

Reese Witherspoon

Not a striking beauty in my opinion. She looks like a cross between a pomeranian and Satan in this photo.

Leonardo Dicaprio

He’s just not attractive

Fabio

He’s just super creepy to me. I don’t get it.

By the power of Greyskull, why won’t John Mayer answer my phone calls?!

Angelina Jolie

Maybe I’m the only one but I’m just not getting it.

I know he’s her dad, but she still looks exactly like John Voight and it creeps me out.

Jennifer Garner

Maybe I should have just made this a guide about mannish features.

Paris Hilton

“That’s not hot!” Put this chick back in the egg it’s premature. An example of what it would look like if birds could get fetal alcohol syndrome.

Julia Roberts

Sticking with the bird theme….

I think people are confused because she was in a film called “Pretty Woman”. I think that people also subconsciously identify someone as attractive and then, years later, see them and immediately remember that they were supposed to be attractive. Part of Julia Roberts’ beauty dealt with her personality back then before she became a huge A-List celebrity. I don’t think that, if we were seeing her for the first time now, anyone would think much about it.

Cameron Diaz

WTF? And my boyfriend thinks she’s hot. Am I alone in this one?

Jennifer Aniston

What? Someone had to say it

Kate Moss

She always looks sickly and really plain to me…yet she’s a major major major supermodel. Ummm okay.

Megan Fox

She’s got a whorey face….. and if you’re not careful she might bite your @#$% off with her giant teeth. Nancy Kerrigan anyone???