Get Your Shrub Art On

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Sometimes I like to sit and dream of a future time when I will be able to get away with purple pantsuits, coral lipstick, flirting with younger men, and spending all afternoon tending to my topiary collection. Think about it! Your future holds so many wonderfully boring phone coversations about what you ate for dinner the night before, and how many weeks it took for your dolphin shrub to fill out. Simpler times await. Get excited!

A topiary collection is like having so many well-behaved friends.

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(photo: Fiona Hansen)

You can attract small children hither.

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You'll never have to look at a boring old normal tree again.

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You can make something more hideously distracting than your bucket hat

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You can get rid of unwanted guests by sending them over your plant bridge.

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It’s kind of like a socially acceptable moat.

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Attract helpful passersby.

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You can put your old bean collection to good use.

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You can make a shrub portrait of the sexy UPS guy and not seem creepy!

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You'll have time to really get into the seasons.

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Gone, shall be the rushed days of decorating a grocery store pumpkin with a sharpie.

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Every grandma loves dolphins.

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Construct suburbia's Taj Mahal.

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Discussions

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by emerald_dandy  09/17/2009  Reply

I’m nearly certain that if one of my neighbors were to create some shrub art I’d probably have to egg their house…

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by chelsea  09/14/2009  Show 1 Reply

I’ve always wanted shrub art. Too bad I don’t have a lawn.

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