Creepy Vintage Ads

“Mmmmm… swine flesh”

They must be having one of those self-carving hams.

She’s looking a little possessed!

“I will eat your heart… GIMME BACON!”

SHOULD I EAT, OR SHOULD I KILL SOMEONE?

She knows it’s milk in her glass, and bleach in yours!

Are those kidneys next to the ham and peas?

I was the one always got stuck sitting across from that crazed little bitch at the church banquets. Mom never understood why I couldn’t eat a bite.

she looks like my daughter when she was little. She might have been a bit crazy.

just…so….wrong….

I just came to say the same thing lol

Sooo not okay. barf.

That so wrong.

Yes, suicide food! There is a whole blog about this!

wow this is just….horrible.

aaarrrgghh! wot were they thinking?

I’m so not okay with this…

reminds me a bit of the bunny suicides. suicide piggy anyone?

i wonder what it says?

The pig is made of fruitcake?

According to Google’s language tools the text reads (more or less): “eat with pleasure and without fatigue sausage auvergne Food absolute purity good pork sausages prodigal”

Hmm. If eating is causing you fatigue, I think it’s time to get on The Biggest Loser and let Bob & Jillian whip your carcass into shape…

what’s for dinner? oh right.. ME!! bleh

creepy but true- pig is ham- and we eat it

Is it farmer’s dream or manufacturer’s? Kinky anyway.

Where can I find a print of this poster? i want one so bad for my kitchen.

“I love raw meat on my wonder bread!”

“A special sandwich for Father. A special cyanide sandwich.”

my brother printed this out ages ago and its now on our fridge

That would definitely help kick-start my diet.

Why does mom have her fingers all over the sandwich?

“Mmm. Ladyfingers with jam!”

“Mmm! It looks like Baby Brother’s blood!”

so, this is where Susan Olsen got her start!!

“You are a very naughty, NAUGHTY girl!”

The only problem with this kind of advertisement is that some women LIVE for this kind of treatment.

Oh, I love this one ;)

Nothing says “by my product” like domestic violence

ha

I can believe he’s beating her for buying Chase & Sanborn. That shit’s got no flavor. I want to smack her, myself.

Ten points to dammit. :)

Hmmmm….my mother would have a #10 cast iron skillet with this guy’s name on it. He would try that ONCE with her.

This is seriously fucking disturbing.

seriously! too disturbing…….

Hmm, ironic much? :P

omg! i just happen 2 c this on the eighth anniversary of this tragedy. creepy

That’s so creepy…

REALLY freaky….not liking it at all….

wow

Wonder if this ad gave someone an idea…

haha! planes and skyscrapers get the stupid americans all agitated. I got to remember that in case i need a distraction.

oh the irony

Uh, Juho, are you just stupid or ignorant? Those skyscrapers are the “Twin Towers” or the World Trade Center. You HAVE heard of 9/11…correct?

As WTC was one of the best known buildings in NYC you shouldn’t be so surprised about an aerial travel company using it’s picture to advertise. You guys are seriously fucked in the head.

oooh, this gives me the Heebie jeebies! too weird

i think whatever juho’s smoking in his picture has destroyed his capacity for empathy. wait til it happens in your country, in your lifetime. it will.

“You’ll shoot yer eye out!”

I like how cigarettes were so “cool”… then they came out with the Surgeon General’s Warning. Then it’s like all those people that started smoking to be cool were like “Shit… cough, hack, wheeze”

no wonder i got packs of cigarettes in my stockings instead of coal

Most of the people who did those ads died from lung cancer or congestive heart failure. If they are alive now, it’s because they have pacemakers or other attachments. or they Quit!

“I’ll have the sandworm, please.”

What is this an ad for?? It does NOT look appealing!!

Now we know where the beef is.

THIS DOES NOT LOOK APPETIZING.

It needs to be cooked more thoroughly.. then you know.. maybe.

reminds me of that old neil young song: “Oh to live on….roast beef mountain…” what an awful ad.

Haha yes and it’s a bit too fatty. I just keep thinking about how dirty it is sitting on the ground like that!

I keep thinking it’s going to eat her!

King Kongs severed penis was found miles from the Empire State Building.

…and Fay Wray grieved by the site until they carted her away.

I think pixie styx doesn’t know how to cook a good piece of meat. Not saying THIS roast looks appetizing but give me a nice grilled steak with a pink, JUICY center….mmmm, my mouth is watering already

Where’s Fred Flintstone & Barney Rubble? Why didn’t they pick up this Brontosaurus? Wilma & Betty could cook this better than that gal.

Haha OR creepiest ginger kid ever??

I’m a ginger, asshole :(

I’m a ginger also… but that’s still damn creepy.

I’m not a ginger, so i’m not offended like the other gingers but come on HE IS CREEPY!

Seriously. It doesn’t even matter whether or not he’s a ginger, the kid is a total demon!

I like how he’s forking it up so fast the spaghetti’s practically sideways.

Even Cartman wouldn’t want to mess with this ginger.

this child is just the latest result of the GOP’s new inbreeding campaign…….

Hey mom! Those bloody worms are damn delicious!

Die and burn in hell. Fuck the ginger haters

omg! save him someone!

woa, this dosnt even make sense bahaha

Why would a picture of horrific parenting skills sell soap?

Albeit it is a creepy ad campaign though the picture seems to be modeled after the old saying “Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.”.

This goes to show: Do Not Leave Baby Alone in the Bath! Put that friggin’ cell phone Away!

Uh. WTF.

WHY IS THE BABY SHAVING? Because it’s SAFE? I dont understand.

wot parent in their right mind would give their baby a razor? is it cute? i beg to differ

He’s really a munchkin from Munchkin land.

That’s exactly the reason the baby’s shaving. ‘Cause it’s “safe” compared to shaving with a straight razor, which was all that was available b4 safety razors were invented. “NO STROPPING NO HONING”

I vote with jeanner, munchkins were once very popular & sold “safety” razors. My dad had one of these, Not really safe! I nicked my legs sometimes.

During the summer season of extra smoking….?????

Heh. When people actually believed that smoking was good for you…

lmao, this has always been on of my favorites. Not because of the add itself.. but that sentence can be taken so pervertedly. XD

…or maybe she’d hit the crap out of u.

I actually think this ad is very sexy. It makes me want a cigarette BAD.

chick in the ad is def hot, tho. it is sexy but i hav a dirty mind at times and well, i def wont be saying that out loud…

Oh yeah – that is how to win me over. Smoke

Oh yeah – that is how to win me over. Smoke

“Blow in her face, and she’ll follow you anywhere”…and kill you in your sleep, you nasty jerk!

lol back in the day if you blew smoke in someones face it meant you wanted to “do the dirty” with them….so lame

Heh. Blow smoke in my face and you’ll be swallowing the entire pack.

She might have loved it, if it were weed. I’m just saying…

Blow in her face, and she’ll blow you?

This is so hilarious. Also, I think I have early onset senile agitation. Or PMS.

Lordy I’d love to be able to procure that stuff.

haha this is a great ad

good ole thorazine…

great to see that Richard Bolton finally found work!!!

Wow! Beats the stupid ED ads! Only takes a couple seconds to read the needed info. LOL! Hey it’s the predecessor to Prozac! ROFL! OMG!

y wud a baby want 2 smoke? peer pressure? the need 2 fit in? it;s a baby 2 chrissakes! stupid ad. now i’m suddenly upset…

Hmm. Wanna know another way to not feel “over-smoked”? DON’T SMOKE!

BTW, the baby isn’t smoking. They’re not even suggesting that the baby should smoke. The baby’s just jealous that Dad gets all the good stuff which, in this case, is his Marlboro cancer sticks.

Children are still picking up cigs even though it’s not encouraged anymore. They do so because the parents do. This was actually an on target ad. The generation or 2 after wards still smoke.

Putting aside the patriarchal theme, “Lysol” as a douche?? WTF?

No amount of Lysol will turn her husband straight.

We use that stuff in the lab to sanitize the tables… Old-fashioned lysol is seriously hardcore. No way would I be putting that anywhere near my ladyparts

If you have to Lysol your cooter to get your man to touch you, it’s time to move on.

Please. Clearly she stopped maintaining her nethers ‘cause "Not tonight, dear, I’ve got a headache" wasn’t working anymore.

On another note, I wonder how many women destroyed their nethers by hosing them down with Lysol.

“Dave’s not here, man.”

somebody make sure Anne Coulter gets a copy of this!!!

I take it you never met ol’ Sally up there? Prior to Lysol coming out on the market, they had to dip her in creosote.

Whoa putting that stuff there? Ya gotta be kidding! How could a woman want a man after that? or even function? If you needed that sort of cleansing, time for a doctor!