.jpg "Being a Cool Nerd in New York")
.jpg "New York Makes Emo Boys Cry")
.jpg "The Clueless Spy's Guide to New York City")
.jpg "Remember 90's Love in New York City")
.jpg "Matt Fried")
.jpg "So, Your Girlfriend Is A Lesbian...")
.jpg "The Gentleman's Guide To Getting Laid In College")
.jpg "The Worst Teams of All Time")
.jpg "The Law Office of Matthew Shrum, P.L.L.C")
.jpg "Dr.Genis Oleg DDS")
.jpg "Garage Door Repair West Sacramento")
.jpg "Party Bus New Orleans")
.jpg "Love is funny: Awesomely BAD engagement photos")
.jpg "Awkward Family Portraits will make you say \"WTF?\"")
SPONSORED LISTINGS
Defeat Your New York Enemy
- by matt_fried
- -
- August 26, 2008
(1)
.jpg)
Every New Yorker has one great enemy, be it high rent or a Facebook stalker. This city wouldn't be half as interesting without boiling some blood. Think you've known crimes of passion? Live or die, by honor? Stand toe-to-toe with some of these instances and then we'll talk...
The Foes You Need to Know
Roaches
Kill one and then expect thousands of other to follow – it’s like Village of The Damned. Don’t leave food out in your apartment; that includes the four-day old sandwich on your nightstand.
Rats
There’s nothing lovable about these furry vermin finding a way into your pad. Stock up on steel wool and traps, rats are a nightmare.
Republicans
The scourge of any major East Coast city, Republicans have had a dubious presence in New York City in the last decade. Some people loved what Rudy Giuliani did for New York, the rest of us found his grating love of the Yankees annoying. The best way to combat against these pests? Make sure to vote liberal with you same-sex life partner at every opportunity you may have.
Al Pacino – New York’s mayor. John Cusack – New York’s guy next door.
City Hall
131 Duane St, New York, NY 10013
Fight a traffic ticket, a sleazy landlord, or get married. Despite the old euphemism, you can fight city hall.
Fight a traffic ticket, a sleazy landlord, or get married. Despite the old euphemism, you can fight city hall.
Yankee Stadium
River Avenue & E 161, New York, NY 10001
The home of the Evil Empire. The New York Yankees are probably America’s most beloved baseball team. But with twenty-six world championships and the most ruthless owner in Major League Baseball, it’s real hard to feel sympathy over a losing season. Plus, trying to get the taxpayers to finance your new baseball stadium is a bit of a hard sell.
The home of the Evil Empire. The New York Yankees are probably America’s most beloved baseball team. But with twenty-six world championships and the most ruthless owner in Major League Baseball, it’s real hard to feel sympathy over a losing season. Plus, trying to get the taxpayers to finance your new baseball stadium is a bit of a hard sell.
Other Guides To Check Out
Great New York Enemies
Tammany Hall vs. New York City
Tammany, the Democratic political machine, held sway over city politics for almost 200 years. Known for being notoriously corrupt, Tammany Hall hosted some of the greatest knockdown, drag-outs the public had ever seen. The most nefarious member of its ranks being “Boss” Tweed.
The Five Families
Inspiration for The Godfather, The Sopranos, and even in the video game series Grand Theft Auto, The Five Families were composed of the five most powerful mafias in New York City history. The families are Bonanno, Gambino, Colombo, Genovese, and Lucchese. Enough blood and black market politics have run rampant through the New York streets to make anyone think twice about crossing paths with these heavy hitters.
Spider-Man vs. The Green Goblin
No lifelong New York feud is more well-known through-out the world than that of Peter Parker and Norman Osborn, nee Spider-Man and The Green Goblin. Since their first battle, Parker and Osborn have been inevitably linked together via alter egos through friends, lovers, even off-spring. Even when times have gotten dark for Peter (and I mean dark), he never has succumb to disorder and chaos Osborn has always embodied. If you have no clue what I’m talking about, swing by your local comic shop and pick up a collection of the classic Spider-Man arch, “The Death of Gwen Stacy.”
How To Fight Back
The Mafia
There’s always a friend in Cosa Nostra. Just don’t ever forget who did you a favor…
Superhero/Vigilante
Nah…
Al Sharpton
If non-violent protest is the name of your game, just drop this guy an e-mail.
New York Sports Clubs
217 Broadway, New York, NY 10007
Tone-up and get jacked with one of New York’s most affordable gym membership. Get ready to bring the pain.
Tone-up and get jacked with one of New York’s most affordable gym membership. Get ready to bring the pain.
Spy Shop
131 Christopher St, New York, NY 10014
Tucked away in a tiny alcove of the Village, Spy Shop has everything you need to spy, track, or monitor your foe.
Tucked away in a tiny alcove of the Village, Spy Shop has everything you need to spy, track, or monitor your foe.
Karatedo Honma Dojo
64 East 4th Street, 4th Floor New York, NY 10003
Learn the art of Japanese Karate, taught by Sensai Masahiko Honma. Achieve tranquility and inner peace while learning how to wipe the floor with a hotshot.
- |
- |
- |
- |
- share this
.jpg "chubbuni13")
-
I have to respect Bob Muntz’s zeal, kinda like the way I respect (and fear) genital herpes… Nice guide, I especially like the zinger about Al Sharpton. I don’t care if the guy finds the cure for cancer, with hair like that, I can’t trust him…
.jpg "Bob Muntz")
-
My New York enemy is stairs. And the naked cowboy. Thank you. Please comment on my guide.
.jpg "aubree munar")
-
Hahaha! Go Sox! Go Sharpton! Go Raid!
Add Our Widget To Your Site
.jpg)
Discussions