The Top Phalluses on the Planet

Liberty Memorial

Kansas City, Missouri

The Liberty Memorial is the national symbol for World War I, with a WWI museum resting beneath it. I hear they have an entire wing of the museum dedicated to legendary fighter pilot Major Dick Johnson.

Obelisk of Buenos Aires

Buenos Aires, Argentina

The obelisk may look a whole lot like the Washington Monument, but nobody ever draped a giant condom over the Washington Monument to raise AIDS awareness.

The Stratospshere

Las Vegas, Nevada

Unlike most Las Vegas phallus experiences, you get to be the one inside of it, and your boyfriend back home won’t mind at all.

Vigeland Monolith

Oslo, Norway

A smaller phallus by comparison to others on the list, it is the only one that happens to be made entirely out of naked people. That’s gotta count for something.

Washington Monument

15th St NW & Constitution Ave NW, Washington, DC 20024

The oldest gigantic phallus in all of the USA. No word on how it’s stayed erect since 1884, but I’d wager that Pfizer has something to do with it.

The Chicago Spire

This isn’t built yet, but it soon will be!

The Flatiron Building, NYC

You may have never considered the Flatiron Building in the master set of “Whatever it is I think I see, becomes a giant phallus to me”; but that’s probably because this example demands the right…“perspective”; I’d say this pic captures that perspective pretty well.

Not To Be A Contrarian...

Chicago’s Smurfit-Stone building is meant to add a feminine touch to the skyline.

CN Tower

Toronto, Ontario, Canada

What this big boy lacks in girth, it certainly makes up for in length!

Space Needle

Seattle, WA

Arguably one of the most famous phalluses in the world, its bulbous head is filled with an odd assortment of overpriced food and Japanese tourists.

Leaning Tower of Pisa

Pisa, Italy

Some people think it’s weird, the way it leans and all, but then again some people say that adds to the pleasure of being on top of it.

The Eiffel Tower

Paris, France

Trust the French to have a giant steel phallus in the middle of the city. And did I mention that it lights up?

Disneyland Magic Kingdom

Nothing to see here folks. Just your average garden variety array of carnations and pansies

This is a watertower in Ypsilanti, Michigan. Apparently, the locals call it “the brick dick”.

Obelisk of Luxor in Paris

You’re driving along towards the swanky Champs Elysee, where the streets are perfectly manicured and so are the people and then, BAM, this sucker is smack in the middle.

Red Light District Amsterdam

This is actually supposed to be a Penis Statue.
It doesn’t get more Phallic than this.

From Bhutan

Liberty Memorial at Night

This is a shot of Liberty Memorial in Kansas City at night, apparently they think “steam” “coming” out of the tower is particularly elegant