THE KETUCKY DERBY: HATS, PARTIES, HORSES AND MINT JULEPS

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There's something so I regal about the Kentucky Derby, mainly because the tickets to actually go are thousands of dollars and women are spending absurd amounts of money for hats bigger than their heads- but I digress, the Derby is the perfect excuse for a party, to drink and to dust off your Great Grandma's old "church hats" and put them to good use. So place your bets, throw around some cash and join in on the fun!

A little Derby History: What is it exactly?

The Kentucky Derby is a Grade I stakes race for three year-old thoroughbred horses, held annually in Louisville, Kentucky, on the first Saturday in May, capping the two-week-long Kentucky Derby Festival. The race is one and a quarter miles (2 km) at Churchill Downs. Colts and geldings carry 126 pounds (57.2 kg) and fillies 121 pounds (54.9 kg) The race is known in the United States as “The Most Exciting Two Minutes in Sports” for its approximate duration, and is also called “The Run for the Roses” for the blanket of roses draped over the winner.

I've bet on these horses simply because they have cool names:

  1. Mr. Hot Stuff
  2. Hold Me Back
  3. Chocolate Candy
  4. I Want Revenge
  5. Dunkirk (just say it)
  6. ADVICE… Advice?

Hef takes is Playboy ladies to the Derby

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Sexy, sexy.

When TACKY tastes and gluesticks come together:

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THIS IS HAPPENS. And it is a disaster.

Projected Contenders:

  1. I Want Revenge
  2. Dunkirk
  3. Friesan Fire
  4. Pioneer of the Nile

When unfortunate hats happen to good people

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WHAT TO EAT/SERVE on Derby Day!

CREAMY CHEDDAR GRITS SOUFFLE:

Ingredients

  • 1 cup grated, sharp cheddar cheese
  • 1 cup raw grits
  • 4 cups milk
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1/4 teaspoon pepper
  • Pinch cayenne
  • 4 ounces butter
  • 4 eggs, separated
Directions

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Grease a 2 quart souffle dish well and sprinkle 2 tablespoons of the cheese around the sides and bottom of the dish.

Cook the grits in the milk with the salt until done. Add the pepper, cayenne, butter, cheese, and egg yolks to the grits. Stir well and let cool.

Whip the egg whites until stiff and carefully fold into the grits mixture. Pour into the prepared souffle dish and bake for 20 to 30 minutes.

What do you want to bet these ladies had a "hat making party?"

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EVERYONE, BUST OUT THE GLUE GUNS, SEQUINS, AND FAKE FLOWERS FROM HOBBY LOBBY, WE’RE MAKIN’ HATS!!

Now this is good.

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Of COURSE Barbie goes to the Kentucky Derby, of course.

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GAME IDEAS:

Frozen Jockey
Use small jockeys on horses, like the size that would be on cupcakes and freeze them to the tops of ice cubes in the freezer. At the start of the race all participants can wager on a horse.  Using a flat surface in your house (glass from storm door ) tilt it at a slight angle on a table.  Line the ice cube jockeys up, keeping them in place with a yard stick and then let them loose all at once for a fun and crazy race. The ice jockeys melt, turn, spin and slide at the whimsy of the weather and heat. Some zoom by and knock others out of the way. It truly is a game of chance and all can have fun.  To repeat simply refreeze the jockeys on new ice cubes and freeze until the down time between the next races.

Stick Horse Races – Great for Kids!
Materials Needed:
Men’s athletic socks – black, brown, white
Felt – white, black, brown, red, tan
Broomsticks
Styrofoam peanuts
Glue or hot glue gun
Black electrical tape

Begin by choosing a sock and fill it with styrofoam peanuts.  Tape the sock to the broomstick.  Use the felt to make the eyes, nose and mane for the horse.  After the horses are complete then you can conduct your own Derby race card.  Divide the kids (or guests) up into heats and have them race their horses and then have match races until you get down to the Derby heat and crown the winner with red roses!

When Polkadots ATTACK

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Can someone tell me what's going on here?

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MAKE ALL OF YOUR GUESTS SHIRTS THAT SAY:

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This is called, "I was drunk and/or blind while choosing my Derby hat."

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When humans heads turn into sunflowers...

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You know you’re at the Derby.

WHAT'S A JOCKEY AND WHY ARE THEY SO TINY?

If you’ve never seen the show JOCKEYS on Animal Planet, it’s definitely worth a gander. The jockeys on the show are some of the best in the world and to see what they go through, the way they train, etc. is really incredible. As far as how it works,
Jockeys are normally self employed, nominated by horse trainers to ride their horses in races, for a fee (which is paid regardless of the prize money the horse earns for a race) and a cut of the purse winnings. Jockeys usually start out when they are young, riding work in the morning for trainers, and entering the riding profession as an apprentice jockey.

Often due to the physical pressure to maintain a certain weight Eating disorders (such as anorexia) are also very common among jockeys, as the athletes face extreme pressure to maintain certain weights. They can also end up with arthritis, paralysis, concussions, etc.
Just watch Seabiscuit….you’ll see.

UM.....? No words.

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It isn't a Kentucky Derby without a MINT JULEP:

For nearly a century, the mint julep has been the traditional beverage of Churchill Downs and the Kentucky Derby. Over 80,000 Early Times Mint Juleps are served over the two-day period of the Kentucky Oaks and Kentucky Derby, requiring 8,000 liters of Early Times Mint Julep Ready-to-Serve Cocktail, 2,200 pounds of freshly harvested mint, and 80 tons of shaved ice. HOLY LIQUOR.

MAKE YOUR OWN:

Early Times Mint Julep

  • 2 cups sugar
  • 2 cups water
  • Sprigs of fresh mint
  • Crushed ice
  • Early Times Kentucky Whisky
  • Silver Julep Cups
Make a simple syrup by boiling sugar and water together for five minutes. Cool and place in a covered container with six or eight sprigs of fresh mint, then refrigerate overnight. Make one julep at a time by filling a julep cup with crushed ice, adding one tablespoon mint syrup and two ounces of Early Times Kentucky Whisky. Stir rapidly with a spoon to frost the outside of the cup. Garnish with a sprig of fresh mint.

When animal print goes wrong.....

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it ends up on this hat.

Oy VEY Heidi, GO HOME. Call it quits.

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....Jenny McCarthy, I like you- you can stay.

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Throw your OWN Kentucky Derby party:

Must haves:

  • Large Screen TV
  • BETTING TABLE:Provide all of your guests with current Daily Racing Forms and set up your own betting pool.
  • Sing, “My Old Kentucky Home”
  • NO ONE IS PERMITTED WITHOUT A DRAMATIC HAT. PERIOD.
  • Have a horse shaped ring of roses, for your “winner”
  • Remember this is a Southern affair, which means CLASSY all the way- fine china, linens, crystal, maybe even some fake accents?

Use your kids figurines for hat making

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YUMMMMMY, Chocolate Bourban Balls:

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup of semi-sweet chocolate chips
  • 3 tablespoons corn syrup
  • 1/2 cup bourbon
  • 2 1/2 cups crushed vanilla wafer cookies
  • 1 cup finely chopped pecans
  • 1/2 cup sifted confectioners’ sugar
  • 1/4 cup granulated sugar
Preparation: Place chocolate chips in microwave safe bowl. Microwave on half power for one minute. Stir, and continue microwaving on half power, checking every 30 seconds, until completely melted (approximately 2-3 minutes). Stir in corn syrup and bourbon. In large bowl mix together crushed vanilla wafer crumbs, confectioners’ sugar and chopped nuts. Blend in chocolate mixture until all dry ingredients have been well moistened. Let stand at room temperature for 30 minutes. Form mixture into one-inch balls and roll in granulated sugar to coat. Store in covered container at room temperature.

When Larry Birkead went in search of another Anna Nicole....

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he ended up with these ladies. Close, but not quite.

Now, The Mean Bean likes this hat. Yes I do.

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STYLE TIP:

  • If your hat has  a crazy pattern, keep the dress design simple.

Oh no, that's not a hat......

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They just keep getting better.....

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Discussions

621581758

I Want Revenge is definitely the coolest name for a horse! Sounds like it should be a band.

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good one. I miss me some early times mint juleps

About The Author

-621769198

the_mean_bean Rss 

The pod of Mother Earth
You know you're going to give your kid a complex if you call them "The Mean Bean" instead of; sweetiepie, sugar face, bear, etc. My nickname stuck- even when I got nicer. AND my affinity for all things BEAN happens to be tremendous; Coffee beans (my coffee feign), Cocoa beans, Vanilla beans, chic...