Your Guide to Surviving Oktoberfest
Last year I had the privilege of going to the original Oktoberfest in Munich, Germany. I made many mistakes, and have now perfected the art of drinking large amounts of beer in huge crowds. Put on that lederhosen, get ready to sing drunk, and make friends with your neighbors- it's OCTOBER! Time to celebrate!!! PROST!
Be prepared to offend somebody
Drunk people in mass, high energy, tension, aggression- someone is bound to get in a fight. So hey, if you know it’s coming at least wear something that welcomes it- get a few punches out early in the evening and be done with it! Offended bystanders will undoubtedly find somethin you do/wear irritating, throw a punch, then hug it out.
“Bon Appetit magazine calls it one of the top German food festivals in the U.S. and USA Today included the city in its list of Top 10 places in the world to celebrate Oktoberfest.
To support these accolades, Tulsa brings in several bands from Bavaria, sets up a slew of cool European shops and kiosks, and offers 20 food stands for your dining pleasure. As visitors munch on Landjaeger (German-style beef jerky) and Kassler Rippchen (grilled, smoked pork chop), they can take in beer barrel-racing, the ceremonial keg-tapping and an extensive parade."
WHEN: Oct 20-23
“Bon Appetit magazine calls it one of the top German food festivals in the U.S. and USA Today included the city in its list of Top 10 places in the world to celebrate Oktoberfest.
To support these accolades, Tulsa brings in several bands from Bavaria, sets up a slew of cool European shops and kiosks, and offers 20 food stands for your dining pleasure. As visitors munch on Landjaeger (German-style beef jerky) and Kassler Rippchen (grilled, smoked pork chop), they can take in beer barrel-racing, the ceremonial keg-tapping and an extensive parade."
WHEN: Oct 20-23
Hope you have a strong stomach- you will be seeing some puke.
That’s just fact.
Tip your FRAUS!!!!!! This is NOT an easy job
Imagine beer pouring all over your pretty dress all day long and drunk men grabbing your ass? And women for that matter, everyone gets a little frisky when they’re drunk. So make sure they feel appreciated!
OWN THAT BEER BELLY!
Maybe you’ll even win a few free beers out of it if you’ve got the biggest KEG?!
“The celebration is a whirlwind of activity: over two weekends, 30,000 visitors enjoy a full carnival, performances by German musical bands, free-flowing imported German beer, and several cultural performances”
WHEN: Oct 14-16 and Oct 21-23
“The celebration is a whirlwind of activity: over two weekends, 30,000 visitors enjoy a full carnival, performances by German musical bands, free-flowing imported German beer, and several cultural performances”
WHEN: Oct 14-16 and Oct 21-23
Drunk girls making out.
Just FYI……yes men, I know, you’re excited.
BRING ON THE BAVARIAN FOOD!!!!!
BRING ON THE BAVARIAN FOOD!!!!!
NOTE: DRINK A LOT OF WATER!!!!!
You’ll thank me in the morning. Have advil, Gatorade and bread waiting for you also.
WEAR THE CORRECT GARB- LEDERHOSEN? DAMN STRAIGHT.
DON'T DRINK ON AN EMPTY STOMACH
There are so many reasons for this- one being that German food, Bavarian food to be exact, is DELICIOUS. Weinerschnitzel, pretzels, Currywurst, any type of wurst- it’s all delicious and two, because you’ll have half a stein of beer and you’ll be regretting the fact that you didn’t chow down. It’ll ruin your night. Don’t run that risk.
......no....do not expect to go to work the next day. NOT. GONNA. HAPPEN.
NOTE: THESE WILL BREAK YOUR TEETH
They look like they’ll be delicious, but turns out they’re actually made to chip the sh*z out of your teeth. Wait until Christmas if you want some good gingerbread- wear this around your neck, just don’t get tempted when you get the drunken munchies ot eat it!
“This state capital doesn’t just close off streets, it creates a 233-acre German village. This becomes party central for one serious weekend, and it’s as famous for its music and unique architectural displays as it is for the food and beer.
Thirty-two bands on three stages provide the main entertainment for Columbus’ Oktoberfest, while a marketplace allows artisans and boutiques to hawk their wares."
WHEN: Sept 30-Oct 2
“This state capital doesn’t just close off streets, it creates a 233-acre German village. This becomes party central for one serious weekend, and it’s as famous for its music and unique architectural displays as it is for the food and beer.
Thirty-two bands on three stages provide the main entertainment for Columbus’ Oktoberfest, while a marketplace allows artisans and boutiques to hawk their wares."
WHEN: Sept 30-Oct 2
If you get to the point of drinking out of your shoe- STOP DRINKING.
You’re not thinking clearly anymore.
“Inside the Convention Center at Big Bear Lake, stations serve premium, hard-to-find German beers for your drinking pleasure, and there’s bratwurst, knockwurst and Bavarian dumplings to dine on.”
WHEN: Each weekend starting Sept 17-ending Oct 29th.
“Inside the Convention Center at Big Bear Lake, stations serve premium, hard-to-find German beers for your drinking pleasure, and there’s bratwurst, knockwurst and Bavarian dumplings to dine on.”
WHEN: Each weekend starting Sept 17-ending Oct 29th.
NOTE: ONE STEIN HAS ABOUT 4-6 BEERS......
AFTER TWO OF THESE SUCKERS YOU SHOULD BE FEELING JUST FINE.
If you don’t know what to expect with German food, expect LOTS ‘O SAUSAGE! Not a fan of sausage? There’s always those GIGANTIC pretzels.
If you don’t know what to expect with German food, expect LOTS ‘O SAUSAGE! Not a fan of sausage? There’s always those GIGANTIC pretzels.
Bring a Whistle
Or at least have a meeting place. Any Oktoberfest will be packed with people and after a few steins it’ll be a lot harder to remember where they were, or what they were wearing. Come up with a plan. Make sure your phone is charged….OR, stumble to a cab all by your lonesome.
Wear the right underwear- because people will see them
You’re drunk you’re dancing- you’re wearing a little dress…..don’t wear a thong. Just don’t be THAT girl. Cause everyone take camera phone pictures of that girl and laughs for months…
German food, not necessarily the healthiest- but it SURE IS DELICIOUS.
German food, not necessarily the healthiest- but it SURE IS DELICIOUS.
You'll be saying this in no time.....
fetznrausch –translation: very drunk
Become part of the DRUNK SINGING CHOIR
Someone will burst into song, it’s just inevitable. So roll with it, whether you know the words or not.
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You know you're going to give your kid a complex if you call them "The Mean Bean" instead of; sweetiepie, sugar face, bear, etc. My nickname stuck- even when I got nicer. AND my affinity for all things BEAN happens to be tremendous; Coffee beans (my coffee feign), Cocoa beans, Vanilla beans, chic...
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