Swine Flu May Cause Michael Jackson Look-Alikes

How To Contract the Swine Flu

One can contract the swine flu by licking the snout of an infected pig. Then, swallow and lick your lips. This is the necessary step to take if your goal is to look like Michael Jackson.

No Need To Wear Makeup

Once the virus has taken full effect, the skin on the face will begin to turn white. Around the eye area, dark eye liner and eye shadow will appear. Also, the lips will elongate, leaving them dark and rosy.

Do not be alarmed, this is a natural occurence.

May Cause Depression

Another lifelong after effect from the flu, is depression. This may set in about a week after you realize you now look just like Michael Jackson (with a few exceptions of course.)

Lil Kim: Slowly Deteriorating

Lil Kim’s nose has already begun to take shape into that of Michael’s. Her skin has also become lighter in shade and her voice occasionally rises in pitch randomly during conversations.

LaToya Jackson: It Runs In The Family

The chances of catching the swine flu, are more likely in siblings. The structure of LaToya’s face is quite similar to that of Michael’s naturally. Therefore causing a much easier transition into the transformation for LaToya.

Liz Taylor

Another tragic movie star turned Michael. The stories are endless of those in Hollywood. The eyes can be very sensitive and fragile as well. The dark sunglasses, help to shield the eyes from bright camera lights.

Swine Flu Has Taken Over The Wii Mii's

Now the flu has infected our Wiii Mii characters. Not even the Wii Mii’s are safe.

Barbara Eden

Our beloved, Barbara Eden from “I Dream of Jeannie” has also been effected. Her nose has begun to cave in and her face has been stretched beyond belief. It’s okay Barbara, I still love you.

Swine Flu Solutions

Once your nose becomes almost emaciated, you can begin to think about nose alternatives, such as silly putty. Silly putty is a great solution to creating the nose you used to have, or allows you to create a new nose everyday!

Michael, We'll Miss That Face!

Rest in peace. Hopefully, we’ll see more look-alikes around.

The Michael Jackson Face

This is what the end result will look like, if a person does not catch the symptoms soon enough.
Symptoms Include:

1.The nose will begin to shrink in on itself and cave in at the nostril area.

2.The cheeks will also cave in toward the jaw bone, to create the “I haven’t eaten in days” look.

3.The hair will grow long and black.

4. Lastly, the voice might occasionally make a very high pitch sound, in the form of an “Oww”, while reaching for your crotch area.

Flu Infecting Babies

This virus is extremely dangerous for babies and elderly people. Because their immune systems are much weaker, the virus will effect them at a much more rapid pace.

Flu Rampant In Prisons

Many prisoners are actually celebrating once they have contracted the virus. Some are licking each other’s faces in hopes that they too might be able to have a chance at stardom with the face of Michael Jackson. That is, of course, once they get out of prison…

Teri Hatcher

Teri’s hair and tight forming skin have already begun to take shape. As you can see, the lips are slightly elongated and everything on her face just looks tight and uncomfortable. Such a shame.

Michael Characteristics Will Begin To Appear

Once your face has taken shape, you may find yourself acting in strange ways, especially with children. Try to steer clear of placing blankets of children’s heads and playing with them in theme parks.

Embrace The Look

At this point, you might as well embrace the fact that you are going to look like Michael for the rest of your life. Go ahead and invest in an outfit similar to that in the music video “Thriller”.

Katie Price

Too bad this is happening. She was somewhat attractive before!

Symptoms May Vary

Some symptoms may vary from person to person, however. For example, Christina Ricci, did not grow a nose similar to that of Michael’s, but the nose of a pig.

Scientists have not yet figured out why this occurs differently in most people, but studies are still being conducted.