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Learn to Drive, You Freakin' Idiot!
- by improbable
- -
- November 19, 2008
(1)
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Are you blind? Get off the road! You suck at driving! My grandmother's a better driver than you are, and she's dead!
Idiot! Watch where you're going!
Hey buddy! Do you even realize that there are other people on the road? Maybe you should get off your cell phone and actually look out your window! Oh, and here’s an idea, try checking your mirrors before you change lanes!
Does this give you any ideas? Hint, hint?
Learn to Drive!
Did you fail driver’s ed? Maybe you should retake it! Take some notes or something this time, do they make training wheels for cars?
Here, look, I’ve already found them. Just set up an appointment!
Here, look, I’ve already found them. Just set up an appointment!
Swerve Driver Training Group
4536 Klahanie Dr Se, Issaquah, WA 98029
“Swerve” – Wouldn’t that be a great fit for you?
“Swerve” – Wouldn’t that be a great fit for you?
Get some glasses, you couldn't see your hand if it was in front of your face!
Did you not see me?! I’m right here! And I’m still right, how about you stop trying to merge into me? Seriously, is it too much to ask for you to make some effort to stay in your own lane?
Just go ahead and ask for the strongest prescription they’ve got!
Bellevue Optometry Clinic
2020 116th Ave Ne Ste 200, Bellevue, WA 98004
There are people who can help you.
There are people who can help you.
Eyes On Fremont
4254 Fremont Ave N Unit Main, Seattle, WA 98103
They sell these things called “glasses”. Check them out! Or just go play in traffic.
They sell these things called “glasses”. Check them out! Or just go play in traffic.
Hey, you! Are you deaf?
Yeah, you! Oh, yeah, I’m talking to you! Don’t pretend like you don’t hear me. You know that was your fault. Yeah, nice work. Just keep looking straight ahead, keep trying to ignore me. I know you hear me!
Maybe you should have your hearing checked!
Seattle Ear Hearing & Balance Center
515 Minor Ave Ste 140, Seattle, WA 98104
I bet you couldn’t walk and listen at same time. Does chewing gum pose a challenge for you?
I bet you couldn’t walk and listen at same time. Does chewing gum pose a challenge for you?
All these taxis, just so you’ll never have to drive again. Use them!
Try taking a taxi next time, dumbass!
There are these big yellow things, we call them taxis, or cabs, and they’re what we put people in when they’re not capable of driving themselves around! You should look into them. All you have to do is stand by the side of the road and wave your hand, and just like that they’ll take you where you want to go and the rest of us won’t have to deal with your incompetence any longer!
Are you blind?
Are you blind or just stupid? Do you see those other moving objects all around you? We call those cars, and the rest of us try not to hit them!
Where do you put your cane while you’re driving?
National Federation of the Blind of Washington
Po Box 2516, Seattle, WA 98111
Maybe you should go ask these people if you should be behind the wheel!
Maybe you should go ask these people if you should be behind the wheel!
Deaf-Blind Service Center
1620 18th Ave Ste 200, Seattle, WA 98122
See, now if you were deaf AND blind, that would start to explain a bit of your driving.
See, now if you were deaf AND blind, that would start to explain a bit of your driving.
Or are you just retarded?
Do you get distracted by shiny objects? Do you take the short bus to work? Maybe you should get yourself some circles of paper and avoid those dangerous sharp corners. Here, I’ve got some safety scissors to give you.
Northwest Center For the Retarded
850 Psns, Bremerton, WA 98337
More resources to help you. Just get off the road already, ok?!
More resources to help you. Just get off the road already, ok?!
Seattle's Guide to Being a Yuppie Bicycle Commuter
Get a bike and get off the road!
World's Grossest Piercings
Go stand in front of some shrapnel!
Los Angeles Driving Tips
Just move to LA, you’ll fit in just fine there!
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