.jpg "freeandflawed"){kind=small}
.jpg "ArielG"){kind=small}
.jpg "aliciak"){kind=small}
.jpg "dumpster"){kind=small}
.jpg "JayFerris"){kind=small}
.jpg "Disgusting/ Inappropriate/Annoying Office Behavior")
.jpg "Office Pranks")
.jpg "Office Pranks")
.jpg "The Most Annoying Office Lingo")
.jpg "ArielG")
.jpg "The worst face lifts ever. Blech.")
.jpg "The worst celebrity bleach blondes")
.jpg "Best fake Twitter feeds!")
.jpg "Garage Door Repair Mill Valley")
.jpg "A Any Garage Door Co")
.jpg "AAA Discount Garage Doors Service")
.jpg "Garage Door Repair Oakland")
.jpg "Awkward Family Portraits will make you say \"WTF?\"")
.jpg "Love is funny: Awesomely BAD engagement photos")
.jpg "Kennesaw Microdermabrasion $49 | ASTORIA medSPA")
.jpg "The Super Sexy 70's Ads")
SPONSORED LISTINGS
Velociraptors invade your office!
- by arielg
- 1 contributors
- -
- May 20, 2009
- + Add To This Guide
(2)
- 4 discussions
- |
- 11 comments
- -
- expand all
.jpg)
What do you do? How many clever ways can you think of to off a raptor hungry for the blood of office drones?
Throw a chair through a window
And proceed to jump out to safety. Of course, if you’re on the third floor or higher, replace “safety” with “your extremely painful death.”
Attempt to ride one for 8 seconds, become rodeo master
And watch it die of shame. Then make your way out leisurely, as the other members of the raptor pack give you serious respect and don’t even try to stop you.
Let bureaucracy save the day
Explain to them that they need to fill out a form, distribute the green copy to accounting, the pink copy to HR, and get the area division manager to sign off on the goldenrod before they can rip anyone’s head off. Hey, it’s just company policy.
Improvise a crude bomb
By running Photoshop on all your office’s oldest computers at once!
Ask them to add postage to the postage meter machine
Their heads will eventually explode from frustration, leaving you to saunter out at will.
Just head for the top floor
Soon enough, they’ll get full and succumb to a food coma.
Hide in the bathroom and lock the door
At least that way, when you piss yourself out of fear, you can already be on the toilet! No need to ruin a good pair of work pants.
More Office Fun on GuideSpot
Office Pranks
MOAR Office Pranks
Disgusting, Inappropriate, Annoying Office Behaviors
Build a cubicle fort
And stay extremely still. Eventually, they’ll leave, after they’re done chewing on your former coworkers like Gram ’n Gramps at the Old Country Buffet.
Raid the office fridge
And leave a trail of rotting nasty coworkers’ lunches for the velociraptor to follow to a different area as you discreetly escape.
Bonus: lace the food with copier toner!
It’s so toxic, they’ll die within minutes!
Sacrifice a portly co-worker
And run like hell. At least the raptors will be busy for a while.
Star Trek Kid
Not quite as dorky as Star Wars Kid, but it makes a decent bat’leth demo.
Where’s Worf when you need him?
Squirt fountain pen ink into their eyes and blind them
After all, the pen is mightier than the sword (or the bat’leth).
Get Your Ass Kicked For Worker's Comp
Sometimes I fantasize about getting injured at work, not only for the sympathy, but for getting paid for nothing. I would be totally okay with being a rich cripple.
added by Seattle_Cameron 05/20/2009
Guides We Think You'll Like
- |
- |
- |
- |
- share this
-
However, for the most part cheaper fountain pens employ the use of a fountain pen cartridge to store ink. Read More: Fountain Pen Cartridge, http://www.fountainpencartridge.com/
.jpg "riomx")
-
Someone’s been drinking too many lattes.
.jpg "HelenaHandbasket")
-
This is hilarious. You wouldn’t happen to know any Velociraptors that I could hire to come invade my office while I’m on vacation do you? ;)
Add Our Widget To Your Site
.jpg)
What Is the Your Favorite Color?
Blue... no Green!
Discussions