Quit While You're Ahead!: Worst Movie Sequels Ever

Be Cool (Get Shorty 2)

I had never seen this film until it aired on Bravo last night. It is what gave me the idea to go ahead and make this guide.

“Get Shorty” was actually a decent film but it’s sequel, “Be Cool” worked as a great example of how John Travolta planned to spit on his opportunity to have a legitimate second wind in his career by punching a gift horse in the teeth.

Chili Palmer decides that he’s going to go into the music business but the music is horrible. Everyone involved in this project should be ashamed of themselves. Harvey Keitel hadn’t been involved in a more confusing low brow comedy since Monkey Trouble" and Vince Vaughn plays a white guy who speaks solely in ebonics. Harvey! What are you doing?! You were in Taxi Driver, remember!

Revenge Of the Nerds 3 - ?

“Revenge of the Nerds”?
Classic.
“Revenge of the Nerds 2: Nerds in Paradise” with Courtney Thorne Smith? Slightly less classic.

But did you know that they continued to make sequels to these film that went straight to television? I know of at least 4 films total. Obviously a bad idea.

The original is one of my favorite films of all-time. To even attempt to make any sequel to this film, especially one that doesn’t feature John Belushi, is a mistake right from the start.

The Godfather Part III

I’m reluctant to add this one, mostly because I like to pretend that it’s not actually a sequel and sometimes that it doesn’t even exist because it pains me so much. However, it did introduce the world to the pervasively mediocre and nepotistic Sophia Coppola, so I guess that’s something…

Many mistakes have been made in this franchise and in the Friday the 13th sequel “Jason X” they actually tried to put Jason Voorhees in space. It’s a toss up between which was worse; the execution or the idea.

I blame a double percolator for making me believe that this movie was great the first time that I saw it. I had never witnessed more blatant product placement in my entire life. Claire Danes actual describes the type of vehicle that she has been kidnapped in, a Toyota Tacoma truck, in detail on her 911 call.

The first time that I watched this was in an altered state and I liked the fact that they were trying to manipulate me constantly with a “buy! buy! buy!” message throughout the script. I viewed the structure as the accidental art through methodical manipulation and marketing and appreciate the artistic elements that were presented by default. The second time I watched it, though, I realized that it was just a really horrible film that never should have been made in the first place.

The third friday from the last friday of the month next year...

“Dayum! Why do they keep making these films?!”

These are slowly gettin worse. If they make another one of these, I’m gonna have to start huffing paint to make them funny again.

Punisher: War Zone

Memo to Hollywood: stop trying to raise sunken ships. This will be the THIRD Punisher film in an attempt to start a franchise and it looks horrible. I understand: it’s about making money, but seriously – even the smart money wouldn’t try for a third.

Rocky V

The smell of Stallone cashing in.

Friday the 13th: Jason Jumps The Shark

Just in case you thought a franchise couldn’t be done with after you pit two immortal slashers like Jason and Freddy Kruger against one another, somebody thought “Hey, let’s remake the first FRIDAY THE 13TH – y’know, the good one.”

Batman and Robin

The movie that almost killed Batman’s cred.

Robocop 3

Robocop was amazing. Who would have thought a movie like that would have been that good, and then..well the second was…ok. However, the last was just plain awful. Almost as bad as that live action tv series that came out. Thankfully, it ended with that.