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Zombies, the Internet, and You
- by jayferris
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- March 02, 2009
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In consideration of unhealthy obsessions, I'll admit -- I'm a freak for zombies. This love was initially nurtured by such hack and slash classics of my childhood as "Return of the Living Dead" and "Dead Alive." Later in life, it is nestled in the ample bosom of the Internet that this love turned hunger is continually satisfied. While the contents of this guide constitute a mere fraction of the hot zombie action available to web surfers everywhere, by cherry-picking some of the choicest morsels out there, I hope a few of you will be bitten and infected by the zombie lust bug, to which there is thankfully no cure.
Zombify Yourself via Photshop!
Using this tutorial, I transformed myself into the undead in only 40 simple steps!
Zombie Photoshopping Too Hard?
All you need is $80 and a clean headshot of yourself, and Rob Sacchetto of Zombie Portraits will custom illustrate a picture of you as a reanimated corpse. Brilliant!
I’m sorry, but HOW ELSE did you think the dead could walk the Earth after three days?
Zombie Last Supper
So wrong… so wonderfully wrong I want it painted on my ceiling.
Larger version HERE
Zombie Jesus on YouTube
Wow. This one is a complete toss-up between ridiculous and disturbing. Make sure your sound is up for it! Oh, and did I say “wow” yet?
Zombified Celebrities
Nothing takes the beautiful Hollywood elite down a peg or two like being run through the Photoshop zombie machine. Click HERE to check out some more great examples!
Zombie Food Pyramid
Zombie T-Shirts Galore!
Seeing as the only thing better than decapitating a zombie with a rusty shovel is wearing them on your person, leave it to the Internet to fulfill our 100% pre-shrunk cotton dreams.
Scarecrow wants Braaains!
Apparently feasting on the wizards grey matter wasn’t enough. Available at Go Ape Shirts for $18
Vegan Zombie
I actually have a few vegan friends who look very similar to this due to the lack of protein and calcium. Available at Threadless as soon as the voters over there pull their heads out of their asses.
Zombie Instructions Shirt
I wonder if I can get this made into a flag to fly outside my house? Available at TopatoCo for $18.50
I Heart Zombies
In perfect juxtaposition to the I Brain Zombies shirt. Available at T-Shirt Bordello.
Zombies in Plain English
If you watch just one zombie survival video in this guide, make it this one.
Be sure to check out the official Zombie Survival Wiki.
The Internet has Zombie Fever!
Check out this smorgasbord of hilarious, informative, and sometimes just plain wrong offerings from the that are web related to zombie culture!
How Would YOU Fare During an Undead Uprising?
Take the Ultimate Zombie Survival Quiz (click “play this game” when page loads). I’m proud to say that my score of a Z+ makes me one hot ass zombie-slaying mutha. Well at least that last part.
What Twitter Would Look Like During a Zombie Outbreak
New from ProBlogger: “How to Kick the Undead’s Ass”
Awesome.
ZombieDefense.org
You’re not going to be calling this site — full of weapon reviews, survival tactics, and dissertations on zombie lore — a parody when your house is surrounded and you’ve only got one box of ammo left.
ZombieHarmony
Looking for love? Probably not the site for you.
Looking for someone to share sweet, juicy brains with? Click away!
Zombie Pinups
Yes, there’s an entire site dedicated to the artistic beauty of the zombified female form. And why shouldn’t there be? Better question still — why I am I so turned on right now?
Emergency Zombie Defense System
Check out the full specs (and lots more pictures) of this spectacular achievement in pre-apocalyptic preparedness HERE.
A Chainsaw Bayonet Strapped to an AR-15 Rifle
Holy shit. Quite possibly the ULTIMATE in zombie-slaying weapons.
Chainsaw Bayonet in Action
I sure hope that come zombie time, Bubba has put in a few more hours practice with this thing.
Zombie Scuplture
Place this in your flower bed to deter both intruding crows and Jehovah’s Witnesses alike. Available for sale at Design Toscano
Awesome Online Zombie Game #1
Called De-Animator, this game puts the dead back into undead in a splendid Lovecraftian style.
Awesome Online Zombie Game #2
The Last Stand has been hailed as one of the most entertaining flash zombie games online, and for good reason. Protect your wall, recruit survivors, and find new weapons to fend off the increasing zombie hordes that come calling nightly.
Zombie Action Figures
It was toys like this which helped to foster my present day obsession with the walking dead. On a separate note, why is it that the fat zombies are always the creepiest?
Extended set of zombie action figures HERE.
RC Zombie Toy
The closest you’ll ever get to controlling a zombie, lest you’re brave enough to go the whole “brains on a really long stick” route.
Order your undead minion over at Archie McPhee.
Zombie Bite Tattoo
Though arguably less painful than a real zombie bite, this tattoo is easily 10 times cooler.
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The zombie pinups are hot. That’s a sentence I was sure I’d never say?
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